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Saturday, September 8

Ok, here's a joke that takes the piss outta Americans. Kinda funny ;)


CNN Newsflash

THE U.S. WORLD CUP SQUAD HAVE JUST ARRIVED IN MUNICH TO TAKE FULL CREDIT
FOR SATURDAY'S VICTORY.

Following on the success of the film U571, Hollywood is to make film of
Munich Victory.
Universal Pictures announced today they plan to make a film of the
momentous football match that took place on Saturday. "Five-One" is the tentative
title of what could be next year's big summer hit, depicting the American
national soccer team's stunning victory over Germany.
After discussion with the accountants and marketing department, the
producers have decided that:
1) The game played will be American Football for fear of alienating the
US audience who would not understand the rules of soccer and
2) The game will be between the US and China, the producers being
anxious not to further alienate the German market and
3) The score will be 500 - 1, any less crushing a victory being
unacceptable to the US audience and
4) To avoid offending the UK market, and in the interests of historical
accuracy, the final credits will include a short note acknowledging that
England (including Scotland) has adapted US football to their own versions
of soccer and rugby, and won a game in 2001 against someone other than the
US which inspired the making of the film.

Nicolas Cage heads an all-star cast as the captain of the brave US team
haunted by the trauma of losing in the 2000 World Cup final on penalties and
the death of his wife in a riot caused by English football hooligans, and
finds love in the arms of a female sports journalist played by Julia
Roberts. Mel Gibson is the no-nonsense Swedish coach who leads them to
glory, with Keanu Reeves, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon and Will Smith playing
some of Cage's heroic teammates.
Jeremy Irons is set to star as Sir Nigel Villiers-Smythe, the dastardly
Englishman who coaches the German team and forces them to play with
poisoned-tipped studs to try and cheat the heroic American team out of
victory.

Director Steven Spielberg defended the film-makers' decision to focus on
the American contribution to the victory and inaccurate and even imagined
events in the story, saying, "Obviously we've had to take some artistic licence
to make the story work on film, but I hope that what we produce will be true
to the spirit of what happened on that famous night."


PS - I have nothing against Americans, hell I have loads of US mates, but the joke's just too funny to not publish


I'd like to thank Chris Williams for sending me that nugget of finest comedy. ;)


Dragged out of Christopher's memory and pasted
into his blog at 9/08/2001 01:25:00 AM. Roughly.
Blog ID: 5549525·
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