Kerblam! by Christopher

Saturday, April 21
Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger's daughter is called IRELAND

I SHIT YOU NOT!

Go read on TMZ about the nasty voicemail message Baldwin left for his daughter on her phone after she didn't pick up (which has exploded across the web's gossip sites and eventually resulted in Baldwin issuing a public apology on his site): start here.

Then, once you've skimread that, sit back and think - WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU CALL YOUR DAUGHTER IRELAND?

IRELAND'S PART OF THE UNITED KINGDOM OF GREAT BRITAIN AND IRELAND! CALL A KID 'SUMMER' OR 'FLOWER' OR 'NOVA' OR EVEN 'PEACHES' FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, BUT FUCKING 'IRELAND'? 'IRELAND BASINGER-BALDWIN'??!?!?!?!??!

Un-fucking-believable. Frankly, the whole dad-being-snippy-with-kid thing pales into insignificance in comparison with the heinous crime against humanity committed by Baldwin when he and his wife called their child IRELAND - and continuing to do so is inexcusable, particularly when a namechange via deed poll is very affordable and cost-effective these days. Naming your kid Ireland... This is fast becoming a national scandal!

Were Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger missing their CLEVER GENES OR SOMETHING? Bloooooody hell. Just when you think that there's at least a few regular, sane(ish) people left in the wonderful world of celebrity...

(By the way, if you're allergic to swearing, you should've looked away about four minutes ago.) ;)

I can't believe I was spurred on enough to even write this, what the hell is wrong with me.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH BALDWIN! Even Jesus is up there going "well, freedom of choice and all that, I know we're typically non-interventionist and graceful in our passive rule of the universe but YOU'RE SERIOUSLY TELLING ME THIS IS WHY I DIED ON THE CROSS, SO SOME IDIOT COULD NAME HIS KID AFTER A SMALL ISLAND COUNTRY OFF THE WEST COAST OF ENGLAND AND WALES?

Dragged out of Christopher's memory and pasted
into his blog at 4/21/2007 04:00:00 AM. Roughly.
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